Random Lines

Having raya break now, but the poor me is stuck in this student-deserted town of Nilai. I never know the feeling of being alone until this one week long holiday, although its only two days since my roommate left for his hometown. I have told myself this week is a week that I am going to use to get my discipline in lifestyle back. I have not been having a healthy lifestyle ever since i enter college. Staying in the campus where people have no day or night, 1 am is considered as early and 12 midnite as the beginning of night. I need to reformat myself, reset my BIOS, and reinstall a new operating system and a brand new antivirus software.
This holiday was not greatly anticipated by me, though the balik kampung song is on air since raya break creeps in. Homesickness is budding and i wanted to go home badly. I missed everything in ipoh, Elim's people, captain's ball, ipoh food(kuey teow soup, nga choi gai, heong peah, grandma's and mummy's dish ....), the 4Cs( my buddies), ipoh air, ipoh's everything. Not forgetting too, the 72nd Kinta Scout Troop, of which i have shed my tears, sweat and blood with throughout my five years of secondary school life. In the ninth month of the year, day 22, i haven finally met my long lost scout comrades :tan hock(egg shell in cantonese), samy(by the way its a he), horng tzong(the cook), dai dan wong (big butt...lol), ah jiao(no explanation needed)and chun leong. Took a simple brunch with them in old town, talking back about the yesteryears and savouring those tough but memorable days of holding the parang and sleeping on bamboo.
Wah, i am beginning to miss those scouting days again.. T.T
I am approaching the end of semester and guess its the right time i evalute and reflect on what I have achieved and screwed up this time. Well, it has been a challenging semester for me. Having lots of emotional and spiritual battle going on. My body has been fighting aggresively wif the Spirit. I will leave that for the next blog. Not too long ago, i have also faced with a conflict that I have with a friend of mine. Got scolded by him and never talk to him for days ever since that moment. Thousand of feelings and thoughts crossed my mind, just then i realised how hard is it to forgive and forget. After being hurt emotionally, i really find no reason for me to talk to him. Coincidentally, the day after the incident, we had our CF meeting and the topic shared was 'Friendship: God, Me & Others". It was a total disaster as I listened to the speaker. Everything seems to be targeted at me. I knew even before that I should forget the person and reconcile with him but its just hard. I struggled even to talk to him, what more apologizing. I talked to myself and God a lot the few days I launched cold war on him. I told myself to chill and just settle the issue but things just got tensed up the minute i see him and i don't think that i m in the wrong, egoism sneaked in. And so i just left the decision of settling the issue to another day. Finally, the special day came, I have promised myself to take the bull by the horn that day because i know birthday joy would not be complete if this things is not resolved. Before even 12am approaches, i have already thought of what to tell him in my message of reconcilation. Sure enough, i sent the message immediately when 22nd steps in. Till now, I am still uncertain of what is playing in the mind of my friend but I have done my part and I thank God for a road well taken. I knew I did the right thing.
Guess I should move on to something that I am proud of and happy with this semester. After COPA IBA, I got to know a few of the Frisbee folks. Regretting that I have not join the athletic teams during high school days and not excelling in any sports, I decide to try out frisbee. Being a person who is not very good with my hands, I really was slow in getting the right angle and skill to fly the frisbee the right way. But gradually, i began to get technique and started to enjoy it. Though till now, I still suck in frisbee but at least out of 10 times of throwing the disc i got 4 times right. At that moment, i still never took the sports seriously. But after a few weeks, the seniors announced that they will be selecting people into the team to represent INTI in a coming tournament. I began to take things a bit more seriously, but knowing my own skill and limited amount of experience, I told myself not to hurry and take things easy. After a few weeks of training and scouting around for potential players by the senior members, they came out with the list. At the spur of the moment, nothing actually bothered me but realising the inner self of me who yearns to prove something to myself, i was telling myself again to chill. Surprisingly, my name was announced and i got into the team. Spontaneous jubilance was felt and I truly was happy with it. Now, it's six days left before the INTI Open Frisbee Tournament. I am preparing myself mentally and emotionally before the big day. Thank God for this great oppurntunity to at least have something to achieve in sports and knowing so many new friends.
Lord , grant me the strength of living according to Your will. Amen.