Barely Alive

I had a terrible first paper today. I don't know what to expect of it.The cycle seemed to repeat itself, I didn't study hard enough (either no mood, no motivation, too distracted, too 'occupied' or just plain lazy) and putting all revision to the last minute, in the end screwed up my paper and being unable to feel accomplished after sitting for one paper and moving on with boosted confidence. Then I will mourned over the spilled milk and tell myself not to repeat the same mistake after and the cycle repeats..............
I missed the taste of victory but when will my flesh listen to my spirit? I want myself to work hard so that I won't regret anything. Here am I, downed by first paper, still having 3 more papers in my hand. I really hope I can see the silver lining soon, being able to finish my degree at a high note. I am really sick of feeling defeated and useless. God, please would you discipline me? I really want to taste victory, I am a long lost guy. Please, would you?